Good day

Wow! I'm feeling pretty good today. Although I'm still a bit depressed about the fact that panic is interrupting my life right now, I have yet to seriously dwell on it today.

Last night was a pretty big night for me. I was out in the heat all day working out, running errands, working, etc. At about 4:30 I began to feel very light-headed and dizzy. It is at this point at which I would typically begin to panic about my symptoms - but I didn't. I just let the symptoms happen knowing in the back of my head that this is a typical panic situation for me. Eventually, I got a beer and sat on the couch. I didn't want to pass out but didn't want to give in to my fears. In the end, nothing happened and I went about my night.

I'm really nervous about my job today. I may have to travel again sometime soon. I love this job and don't want to lose another job because of my avoidance of air travel. I often wonder how I so easily let panic rule my life. I know why, and I can't go back and change the past. I am an avoidance junkie - and my avoidance has only made my struggle worse. Dammit, that sucks.

I'm in my office right now and was chatting with a peer a couple minutes ago when a thought came to me --- "I wonder what it's like to live in (this person's) shoes and not have irrational thoughts of panic in relatively safe situations".

Sometimes I just wish I were normal. The funny thing is ... I used to be a frequent flyer!

Gos